Ever feel like you are all alone on a journey you are unfamiliar with? You find yourself in a place that is foreign, a place that other people go but not me. A place so out of your norm that you are not sure how you got here.
I know how I got here.......obedience to God's call on our life but man I feel so inadequate. Unsure of myself. I am having to face things and deal with things that I am not educated on. But boy am I getting an education. Words like lung transplant, pulmonary obliterations, pulmonary hypertension and oxygen are words I am familiar with and as a nurse I can see the signs and symptoms and I know how to treat the physical symptoms. But words like attachment disorder, anxiety, 504 vs Special Education, autism, I am not familiar with and they do not fit in a neat box. I have such a learning curve and I fear I cannot learn fast enough to not leave further damage to my already fragile children.
God has been faithful to put people in my path that understand and have gone before me and I am so grateful for that. They have helped me navigate the public school system, find resources, and prayed for me and my family.
Parenthood is hard on its best day and this is our journey.
We love what God has called us to do but if I was really honest some days I think he called the wrong person.
I know I have a lot of friends out there fighting their own battle. Some with special needs children, some with cancer, some with the death of a child, husband, wife or parent, some with struggling marriages, and so many other things.
If you are on that unfamiliar journey I want to leave you with this, it has not taken God by surprise. Thats right....he has gone before you and he has equipped you to walk this path, even though you don't feel like that is true it is. Not because I said it but because He did. So hold on to the promise that today is temporary and the King of Kings has paved the way for you. Seek Him. Undoubtably this is my biggest challenge in the storms. To take the focus off of me and put it on Him.
These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." John 16:33
Grays 2013
