November 30, 2011.

 Nine years ago I was changed forever. I will never be the same as I was before loosing Joshua and Jennifer. That is not bad thing but most of the time I feel displaced not really fitting in anywhere. The friends and life I had as a single mom with two children all faded away. Some freinds stayed around but eventually they all returned to their lives with their children as it should be
.
It left single with no children which I did not really fit into that group either since I did have children just not here on earth anymore.

Then I met my wonderful husband and we were blessed with two wonderful children both under the age of four. I'm no longer in my 20's or my 30's for that matter so I really have a hard time finding common ground with mother's of preschoolers when I feel like a mother of teenagers.

Now all of this may sound crazy but this is just another reason why this journey has been so difficult.
I struggle to find my place in life.......perhaps it is because we are not made for this world. This life is only temporary...............and oh how I long for eternity.