Grays 2013

Grays 2013

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Mothers Day

The first time I held my first born and was inaugurated into the blissful society  of motherhood was 17 years ago.  Oh how I remember that feeling of overwhelming love and fear as they placed that sweet baby boy into my arms. I had no idea what I was suppose to do with this sweet child but somehow I knew Joshua and I would be okay. And the fear of knowing that child was dependent on me for life was overshadowed by the abundance of love that I never knew was possible. If you are a mom you understand that bundle of emotion that comes with that first born. 

My second child came to me under not so normal circumstances.  I was at that time for all practical purposes a single mom. My husband and I were separated and fear took on a whole new face. I had no idea how I was going to take care of two children on my own.  God was good, he gave me the sweetest most content baby I have even seen. Jennifer was a joy from the moment I met her. She slept through the night at a week old and hardly ever cried. And we survived and began to get into a routine that would sustain us for many years as a single parent home.

My house was always full of noise, laughter, crying, fighting, all the business of two children. Until that fateful day in November 2002.  That was the day my house fell silent. No more business, no more laughter, no more fighting, just silence. I remember those days as vividly as I remember the noise. 

Again God is good. Five years after the death of Joshua and Jennifer I once again had the blessing of welcoming another child into the world. I did not realize how much I missed mothering until I was actively mothering another child. In just 9 short days my youngest child will turn 3 and as much as I love this child and as much as I am grateful for him there are days that it is just plain hard being a mom! Sometimes I fail miserably but always I have to remember the silence. When my child is throwing a fit in Barnes and Noble or Toys R Us and I loose my composure I have to stop and give thanks for the noise.
Because Lord willing my child will grow up and graduate and get married and have children of his own and once again my house will be silent. So for today I bask in the temper tantrum for the noise is far better than the silence. 
Happy Mothers Day! 


  1. it is always a mature and thoughtful mom that appreciates the noise!

    i sure do miss it too. it's not silent here, but it isn't nearly as much work as it used to be. i really really really miss having to sweep under the table three times a day (rather than the current every 3 days- if that)... i miss bathtime and singing ABCs and even wiping his big white hiney! :)

    when i think of you going home to an empty house all by yourself... i just want to run and hug you, susan! i cannot imagine how difficult that must have been.

    but what i can imagine is our loving God giving you the grace you so desperately needed.

  2. such a great reminder for us all, susan! thank you for sharing.