Yes, unfortuantely we are in a season of mourning in our house. This is not a season I am unfamilar with having lost two children and my father in a car accident eight years ago. My most resent loss happened three weeks ago. We found out on Januray 11th that I was pregnant. We had been trying for 2 years to get pregnant so we were so excited. Three weeks later we got the news that there was not a heartbeat and I had to undergo a D&C. This devestated us as a couple but for me it opens old wounds.
To be totally honest it makes me angry.....
And as strange as this may sound this is a new emotion for me. I did not have anger when Josh and Jennifer died. I believe it is because I was covered with the grace of God. However this seemed to me that God was cruel to allow me to get pregnant and then take yet another child from me. So at this crossroad I am forced to make a decision to either believe what I know about God or to walk away.
For today I choose to believe what I know about God. In spite of the pain, sorrow, and anger I will hold on to the only thing I know.