Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving day and we are home.  This time of year is so conflicted for me. I have a love/hate relationship with the holidays. It was this time of the year 12 years ago that my children and my father died in a horrible train accident  I still miss them every single day! Not one day goes by that I do not think about them. But this year is a bit different. This year we are home because we are waiting on a lung transplant.  We are waiting on a donor.........
Many of you know that Jennifer was a donor, not major organs like lungs or heart because her injuries were too severe but she donated tissue, eyes, bone, etc.  Even though she was not able to donate the major organs it still gives me great joy to know that someones quality of life may have been improved.  I would do it all over again and I would make the same decision for all of my children, myself and my husband if faced with that again. As strange as it may seem it was a gift for me to be able to do that for people I will probably never meet. 

But sitting on the other side of this is a game changer for me. I know that my prayers will not alter God will. But how do you pray for a donor when you know the terrible heartache the family is facing? I mean really know.......the deep gut wrenching grief that come with losing a child. The pain that never goes away.  The empty seats at the table. The empty hole in your heart that can never be filled. The overwhelming longing to hear their voice, smell their hair, hold their hand...

This is how I am praying for them this year. First of all Erick is stable right now, Praise God! He is home and not having to be in the hospital like many children who are awaiting transplant.  So I am praying first for the families faith and salvation. I do not know how you get through the loss of a child without believing there is a higher purpose in the pain.  I am praying that they get one more Christmas together. Losing a child during the holidays well just sucks!  And I am praying that the time they have together is a time of no regrets. That they will slow down and enjoy the holidays and time they have left together. I am praying that they have HOPE! The hardest part of all this is I know that they have no idea what they are about to face but I do. 

So today my heart is heavy for Erick's donor family will you please join me in praying for them?