In this season of seeking God has been faithful. As I mentioned in my first post I have struggled with anger. It is not a coincidence that 4 months ago God gave me the verse, " be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil." Ephesians 4:25-27
At the time it helped me with a situation with another person that I was dealing with and I wrote it on my mirror. As I reflected on that verse yesterday I was challenged by a friends statement and forced to ask myself why I am angry. As I sought out the answer to that question I realized that I was angry at the situation, the unfairness of loosing three children. I know that God is still the same God that He has always been in my life. I do not serve a cruel God. And He also gives me permission to be angry. In fact that verse alone says that He knows we will have anger because it is a God given emotion. He does not tell us not to be angry. It does not make you a weak and unfaithful Christian if you struggle with anger. And yes I have had people say that to me.
The second part of that verse was the most convicting...........and do not sin in your anger. While God gives us permission to be angry He has also set boundaries in that anger. He does that because He knows that if you let anger take root it will give way to bitterness and consume you. So what does it mean to not sin on your anger? I had a friend ask me today if He gives us a list of how to do that. I wish it was in black and white then it would be so much easier. In seeking this in my own life I had to take note of how I handled my anger. And I am sad to say I have sinned in my anger by taking it out on my husband, my son and other family members.
The last part of that verse is the scariest for me........and give no opportunity to the devil. What that is saying is if you sin in your anger you give opportunity to the devil. That is not who I want to serve.
So as I reflect on that verse He gave me so many months ago I came across this verse
"Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:25-26
My heart has turned to "why" to "what", What does God want me to do with this trial. I am not sure what that is but I will continue to seek because there is comfort and peace when you seek God's will for your life.